Not Bothered at All

It is on some moments that I realize how some failures no matter how painful and disappointing they may seem just pass by us unnoticed. To other people, the failure may be something worth sulking and worth worrying about but not for me. I believe that failures are there to pave way for better things to come. Is this maturity of view on things or I just merely lost my capacity to care at all.

A few days ago, I had such failure related to my employment. Given other circumstances, I might have also been furious that I was rated an unsatisfactory performance for a job given that I am well aware of my capacities. For the duration of my stay with this company, I have objectively judged the other people and I can confidently say that basing on the capabilities of the other people here, I have fared just right. But of course I just can not judge the quality of my performance based on the performance of other people since we have varied expectations and job functions. Still, it is likely to wonder why these people are adjudged as performing their duties very well while you are judged as a substandard performer.I smell double standards here but I am not in the least bothered. Happy that I have a good load of confidence in myself that despite all these I never get to doubt myself.

I have to admit that I have not given my best on the grounds that I was never given ripe chances to show it and that the opportunities given were just too dull to create some opportunities to grandstand. It may also make things clearer that the way things done here involves the lack of support or basically to swim or sink. They say successful people make opportunities and do not  just wait for them, so maybe I am not a good candidate after not making good opportunities from very dull materials. I may blame my lack of enthusiasm and creativity to my divided attention. I would not say that my studies have taken its toll now since it is dividing my time and attention because I am fully happy of what this is becoming so far. It is a job to get me by and provide allowance for my studies.

I have always wanted to be a doctor. Now that I have laid my plan to be a medical doctor to rest, there is no stopping me from becoming a doctor the other way. As of now it is what I greatly want and I am still set on achieving it despite these failures. Successful people may make things out of trash but I guess they also set eyes on the goal and never get lost no matter what. I may not be both but at least I am one. On to proving the word and to myself that I can truly be successful in this dream I set.