I have always loved contests for I am used to winning. A day before the announcement came, I already learned about the winners and the results depressed me. My entry which I have viewed to be the best among the entries did not even make it to the top 3. But who would not see their entries as the best? I was not prepared for the shock that I cried. I have poured my heart into the proposal, my very first as an environmental analyst, and I have failed. It made a huge blow in my confidence making me doubt if I can really go out into the world and share my environmental concepts. Will someone else appreciate it and see it as I see it? Have I made the right choice in changing my track?
It maybe a little consolation that these struggles came at the start of my adventures with environmental management. It can be said that I am to be inspired by these failures to make things better in the future. In my mind it is that way but my heart is disconsolate. Call me a sore loser but don't we all cry when things we have poured our passion into go unappreciated? It is even a bigger consolation that in the course of this competition, I have refreshed links with some old friends.
Yet it is wrong to question the choice of the judges. I respect their choice for there must be some wisdom to it. I have decided to make this event a deciding point in my career. That when I win, I will pursue it and if I am not I will revert to what I was doing. I guess I know the answer now. I will still pursue it. To each his own. I believe somewhere out there, there must be some who can truly appreciate what I can offer. I just hope the other entries have poured their heart out with what they passed- at least this thought is comforting.
Pray me luck.
It maybe a little consolation that these struggles came at the start of my adventures with environmental management. It can be said that I am to be inspired by these failures to make things better in the future. In my mind it is that way but my heart is disconsolate. Call me a sore loser but don't we all cry when things we have poured our passion into go unappreciated? It is even a bigger consolation that in the course of this competition, I have refreshed links with some old friends.
Yet it is wrong to question the choice of the judges. I respect their choice for there must be some wisdom to it. I have decided to make this event a deciding point in my career. That when I win, I will pursue it and if I am not I will revert to what I was doing. I guess I know the answer now. I will still pursue it. To each his own. I believe somewhere out there, there must be some who can truly appreciate what I can offer. I just hope the other entries have poured their heart out with what they passed- at least this thought is comforting.
Pray me luck.
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