I am not sure anymore if distance is what I really need with people. I thought at first that my alienation towards closed knit relationships on groups can be heavily attributed to the closer ties most of the members have since they are friends from the beginning. It is only now I realize that the problem can actually be me just afraid of fostering a closer relationship with them. It is my attitude to severe any forming relationships because I believe that without any concrete reasons, there is no need for a strong relationship. So it goes that up to my age now, I really do not have people whom I can claim to be very close with. Almost everyone has that best friend whom he or she can confide the problems and the joys of life. As for me, I think I have no one but my self. Not that I pity myself for being lonesome on most aspects but I can sense that I am an outcast to the definition of camaraderie. Even if I would claim to be actually happy which I really am, it would not hold true because society would not agree. Yet I feel satisfied with that situation. What I do to appease my questioning is to think that once in my life, I have touched others lives just enough to make them remember who I am.
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