Arrivederci

Something is lost today. I do not have the usual energy to go about my job. I do not have the drive to open my computer and start with my daily task. I have lost my enthusiasm to greet everyone along the way. I have lost the appetite to eat a morning snack. These things are very unsettling given that it is my motto to always start a day with a bang. So why am I not motivated to go about with the job or greet my co-employees with the usual enthusiasm or to take that usual snack? I lost something today.

In the past 2 years I have lost my phone and it took me an hour to get over it. My laptop broke down with all my thesis files and it took me about half day to get over it. A doze of my favorite food or an hour on the videoke machine can draw away my attention from these losses. Just that now, even if there would be a perpetual flow of my favorite food or I sing my heart out on the multiplex these sadness just won't go away.

I am not sure why this sadness is this stubborn. Being the gregarious type, I am not used to sulking and keeping the thing to myself. But how can I share it with others if I do not understand it myself. I do not understand why I am that affected given that there are no formal reasons to be so. Maybe I just loved the idea so much that is why I feel like a widow today.