Trust Issues

There is an adage talking about the need to keep your enemies closer than your friends. I find that very correct but I find it more important to keep your friends close because they just might be your enemies. I have fielded a partially-bogus rant on my FB status recently and it elicited some reactions that tested friendship. This is the last chance I am giving to one friend to show her loyalty. Time and again, this friend proved to be an unreliable and an untrustworthy person. Sad but indeed, this last thread broken severed all ties with that person. I was hoping against that, but reality bites and it bites hard.

I hope that through this post, we learn to doubt our friends. Doubting them does not mean that we do not love them. It only means that we trust ourselves better and everyone needs to save a part of them private. Friendship does not require opening up everything to them and leaving you vulnerable to their judgement. Their judgement can lead them to share everything to others or it may lead them to form incorrect opinions of you. Many friendships are marred by gossip and lack of confidentiality, I personally think it is better to keep it all inside to avoid such complications. Then again some would say that the misunderstandings are part of the whole idea of friendship. That one will never fully appreciate friendship unless they experience the painful side of it. For me it is just on a case to case basis, I have tried to trust friends who have repeatedly caused me pain and what do I get? more pain and no gain? so where is that bullshit stuff of finding deeper and stronger friendship by allowing pain once in a while?

Family matters most. You quarrel and have some misunderstandings but at the end of the day you will always find it in your heart to forgive and let go. Friends rarely do that. Even if they say that they have forgiven you or have forgotten about the understanding, there will always be the trust issue that will undermine the relationship. The trust issue will always pop out and be a reminder of what one did. People see me as the gossiping and talkative type but I do value my privacy greatly. A part of me is kept private and the pieces of information I confide to friends is expected to be kept private.

Every time you share something to a friend, be a little paranoid and place some indicators. If those indicators will be passed on to someone, then it is sure that the sharing was shared. Try this little experiment and check how many of your friends are real.True friendship is very rare-treasure it if you have one.